Switching POV pulls the reader out of the story, loses the
intimacy of a character, and at its worst can confuse the reader.
[I'm being uncharitable towards many editors, I know. When the editor points out this kind of thing, it's up to the author to correct it; the editor can't impose his or her will, he can suggest. If the author won't budge, then... the POV issue hangs there.]
[I'm being uncharitable towards many editors, I know. When the editor points out this kind of thing, it's up to the author to correct it; the editor can't impose his or her will, he can suggest. If the author won't budge, then... the POV issue hangs there.]
Here are some thoughts on changing POV.
If you change a character POV in a scene, then create a
scene break. I won’t labour the point, but an example can be found on p79 of The
$300 Man.
* * *
Sitting in an upholstered chair opposite Mr
Walker who was at his desk, Tillman rested his elbows on the arms and nursed a
tumbler of bourbon and branch water. ‘I am perplexed, Mr Walker.’
Thanks to the break, the reader then knows whose head he
or she is in – Corbin’s then Tillman’s.
Action
Action scenes can be difficult where there’s a temptation to
show how each fighter feels as the blows are exchanged. Resist this. In fact, for each scene, decide whose POV is going to
be revealed.
When the scene is first written, I’m not always sure
whose POV I’m going to write from, as I’m just writing the interplay, the dialogue
and the action. But when I have to layer in the emotion – and possibly thoughts
and feelings, such as pain – then I have to decide. Who is most affected in the
scene? Then that’s probably whose POV you should use – so go back through that
scene and personalize it from that character’s perspective.
Bert laughed and tugged off the
woman’s wedding band. She whimpered but said nothing.
Elijah
chuckled. ‘Get another husband, widow. He’ll buy a new ring for you!’
These
distractions were enough. Half rising, Corbin swung his left arm up, the hook
sinking into Elijah’s neck. Blood spurted, splashing Corbin’s dark blue flannel
shirt and buckskin jacket. Damn, must have hit an artery. Jerking his bloody
hook out of the wound, he used it to snag the shotgun out of Elijah’s hands.
Bert
swerved round, levelling his six-gun, his face draining white at sight of his
sibling crumpling to the carriage floor.
Corbin’s
right hand grabbed the shotgun. Resting the barrel on the back of the seat, he
blasted Bert full in the chest before the bandit could fire off a single
bullet.
The
widow shrieked in alarm as Bert fell back onto the floor, ineffectually
gripping his revolver. Others cheered. (The $300 Man, pp7/8)
In the above example, there are four characters – Bert
and Elijah, the bad guys, the widow and Corbin. It would be easy to get into
any or all of their heads – but this must be resisted. This has to be from
Corbin Molina’s POV throughout. ‘These distractions were enough’ is Corbin’s
thought. I don’t convey it as ‘he thought’ when it’s obvious by the next three
words that it’s Corbin’s POV. Then Corbin’s thought – Damn… It’s visual and
fast, and we don’t get confused about who’s doing what.
Mixed up action
Action scenes can easily become confusing, especially where
the writer is employing ‘he’ but it isn’t always obvious who ‘he’ is. There’s a
tendency to jump from one character POV to another. Pay close attention to your
action scenes, and make sure you’ve pinned down whose POV you’re writing. Strive to simplify and visualise every time.
- extract from Write a western in 30 Days (pp 64/65)
Amazon.co.uk
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