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Showing posts with label description. Show all posts
Showing posts with label description. Show all posts

Thursday, 10 April 2014

Writing tip - It’s too short!

10 ways to add more words without simply padding.


Recently, a correspondent wrote to me expressing concern over the fact that she had finished her book: it was aimed at a particular publisher but it was too short. This is not unusual; a number of publishers stipulate a minimum word-count. The old adage that a story is as long as it takes cuts no ice where minimum and maximum word-counts are concerned.

However, no reader wants to wade through prose that’s there for no good reason, words that do not serve the story.

So how can you actually add words without resorting to padding? Well, you could try one or more of the following suggestions:

1)      Have you got a sub-plot? Most novels are sustained by the presence of one or more sub-plots. These can involve minor characters or the protagonist’s circle of loved ones. The sub-plot has to move forward too, however, and may even heighten the conflict for the protagonist. If you haven’t done so, think about injecting a sub-plot.

2)      Is the sub-plot adequate? So you’ve got a sub-plot (or more), but are they doing enough? Does the sub-plot have the same depth of emotion and intensity as the main plot? Is it raising the suspense or threat to the protagonist? Add more depth, maybe.

3)      Characters’ descriptions. Some writers – and readers – are happy to go with minimal or no character description. Yet description helps create character. The way they look, the clothes they wear tell us something about them. And description helps the reader get immersed in the story, ‘seeing’ the images better. This doesn’t mean you have to opt for a shopping list, showing what the protagonist and others are wearing, though that can work from a certain character viewpoint (say, an observant detective). Clothes, complexion and eyes – all add colour in the mind’s eye of the reader.

4)      Emotional responses. Our characters are all emotional creatures; they respond to what happens to them: or should. Too often I’ve read an early manuscript that throws many an obstacle at the protagonist and all he or she does is ‘sigh’. Emotional responses involve an internal and an external physical manifestation, whether that’s the empty feeling in a stomach or the sweat of palms.

5)      Scene descriptions. If any kind of interaction between characters is involved in a particular scene, then the reader should have a mental image of that place – be it a room, a railway carriage or a stagecoach. Have you done enough scene description? Can the reader ‘see’ where the characters are in relation to each other? This is particularly important in fight scenes.

6)      The senses. We all know we should use all our senses when characters experience their world. But do we? Have your characters done so? Besides adding depth, using the senses adds another layer of believability, and further involves the reader.

7)      Dramatic scenes. I’ve come across more than a few scenes that lend themselves to dramatic interpretation, but they’re over before they’ve begun. Of course you can’t describe every scene in a dramatic context. But where two characters conflict verbally or physically, then ensure that you’ve gleaned all you can from this – the protagonist’s emotional responses, any additional conflict that arises from counter-arguments or blows, and so on.
 
8)      Show, not tell. There are times when the story needs to move forward faster, usually past those boring bits, but don’t ignore the fact that by showing the reader how your protagonist feels in any given situation involves the reader more than simply telling what the character feels. Dig into your character’s emotional responses to the events they encounter.

9)      Enliven the flab. There may be some flab that’s necessary to describe what’s going on. Bring these sections to life with metaphor, improved choice of words, and perhaps by personalising the description from a character’s point of view.

10)  Examine the ending. In many instances, the endings can be rushed. You’ve got to the end and you want to be finished with the story. Don’t rush it – but don’t linger longer than necessary. But ensure that you’ve employed all the above ploys in the ending; in other words, be certain that you haven’t skimped.

All of the above suggestions will increase the word-count. But these extra words have to work too. The writing has to remain tight, where every word counts – towards a story of clarity, where character and scene live for the reader.

That’s the long and short of it.

Monday, 21 October 2013

Writing tips – It’s all character building

Fiction relies on memorable characters. The reader needs to visualise the character and empathise. Part of character building is in the description.  Naturally, if you’re writing first person narrative, the physical description is going to be conveyed by reflections or other people’s comments; if you’re in the third person POV, even then you can’t easily describe your character, it has to be done by someone else – unless you slyly jump into omniscient POV when the drama permits.

Here’s a character breakdown for the hero of Death at Bethesda Falls.

JAMES DEXTER THORP

DoB: 6 Oct 1839. Jim is 26. He lived in Deadfall, a neighbouring town to Hope Springs, both being small Kansas towns, and went off to war in 1861 when he was 22.  He left behind his girl, Anna Comstock, who lived in Hope Springs.  He wrote to her as often as he could but never got any answers to his letters. 

When he returned after the war (1865), he found that his mother and kid sister had been killed; also, the Comstock parents had died two years earlier and only last year both Anna and her brother Clyde had up and left for somewhere west.  Before she went, Anna had qualified as a schoolteacher. 

He felt rootless but as he is good with a gun and he wanted to find the killers of his ma and sis, he takes up bounty hunting, mainly in the Dakota Territory.  The war hadn’t really prepared him for much else, only hunting and killing.

He smokes stogies (thin cigars) usually affected by gamblers.

Clothing
Dresses entirely in black.  Flat-crowned hat. Silk neckerchief. Linen shirt, broadcloth trousers. Leather boots, no spurs.

Two six-guns, slung low and slantwise and tied down.  A bullwhip is tied to his belt. Carries a Henry repeating rifle.  Also a Bowie knife in its sheath on his belt.

Physical appearance
With a tanned and lined brow, looks older than his young years.  Tall and broad and didn’t carry an ounce of fat. Slate-grey eyes. Livid scar on left temple.  Aquiline nose.  Burnt almond hair. Cleft chin. Broad grin.

Aloof, analytical.  Savvy.

Verbal mannerisms
Deep, husky voice. 
 
When angry, spoke with grave deliberation; tone becoming cool, icy. Eyes narrowing, fix with a level stare; mouth tightened into a stubborn line.
 
You can see that already Thorp is linked to Clyde and Anna with their previous history. Don’t neglect backstory, as no character comes into the world fully formed but is made by his experiences and the people he deals with in life.

Character breakdown list


Try to produce a breakdown for each main character; shorter versions for bit-part players. This can be as little or as much as you like, depending on the length of the work (short story, novella or novel). Every item doesn’t have to be allocated, of course. This also helps for consistency and avoids mistakes! Obviously, career choice or experience will influence behaviour. Some options won’t be appropriate if you’re writing a historical story!

Name – try to avoid using names beginning with the same letter; avoid similar sounding names; be imaginative and don’t always settle for the easy option. Check a directory for names. Dickens was good at this. In Death is Another Life, my American magus is called Spellman – just seemed right! Count Zondadari was the name of a Maltese knight and a triq (or street) was named after him, so I used this name for the vampire…

Age (Date of birth may be relevant, helps keep track, too, if the story covers a long period)

Height

Weight

Body type

Eye colour

Hair colour and style

Distinguishing features

Physical imperfections

Characteristic gestures

Race/ethnic group

Religion

Family background

Schooling

Studies/degree

Skills, abilities and talents

Occupation

Previous jobs

Military or other experience

Short term goals

Long term goals

Quirks/eccentricities

Temperament

Method of handling stress/anger/rage

Admirable traits

Negative traits

Bad habits/vices

Prejudices

Opinions on politics/other current issues

Fears

Hobbies/interests/sports

Favourite pastime

Favourite TV/films

Pets – animals should only be used if they’re going to have relevance to the plot or for character development

Favourite meal

Favourite alcoholic drink

Favourite book

Traumas/psychological scars from the past

Clothing/styles

Pet sayings/verbal mannerisms

Speaking style

Best friend

Past experience that has moulded personality

Home

Car type, colour etc

Character growth/change by the end of story


General character physical description guide


Even for short fiction, it’s useful to apply some of the following to your characters. It will depend on the story and its length as to how much description you can use. This list is by no means exhaustive but gives a taste of variety that can be applied to your characters to make them stand out from each other. Bear in mind family resemblances, though. Ring the changes so there’s no confusion of characters in the visual sense.

Hair: Black, brown, fair, auburn, grey. Turning grey, bald, waved, bobbed, close-cropped, dyed.

Eyes: Blue, brown, hazel, grey, green, squint, monocle, spectacles, blind, left or right eye missing, patch. Open, upper lid dropped, distinctly narrowed, drooping lower lid.

Complexion: Dark, fair, fresh, pale, ruddy, sallow, freckles, pock-marked, moles; warts, scars, beard, moustache.

Mouth: Full lips, thin upper and full lower lip, narrow lips, wide lips, hare lip.

Ears: Small, large, long lobed, short, thick, round; angular flat ears; right or left ear deformed or missing.

Teeth: Healthy, broken, decayed, false, gold-filled, missing.

Nose: Large, small, long, broad, snub, bulbous, pointed, hooked, straight, crooked.

Chin: Slight, heavy, dimpled.
 
Back: Straight, broad, humped, round-shouldered.

Legs: Slim, fat, bandy, right or left limp; right or left leg missing.

Physique: Corpulent, thin, short, tall, strong, weak.

Speech: Slow, rapid, impediment, thin, harsh, dumb.

As a rule, the nose decides ‘looks’; also where the nose is full and round, so are the lips, chin and brow. If the nose is sharp, so are the other features too.

The mouth indicates character while feelings are generally shown most rapidly in the eyes.

Character is also revealed by behaviour, but that’s another post at a later date.

For all writers of genre fiction, character creation is dealt with in Chapter 8 (p87) in Write a Western in 30 Days.
 

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