We’re in Basra, Mesopotamia,
in 1915, with the British against the German and Turkish forces in WWI.
Wilhelm Wassmuss, Lock’s
German nemesis from the first book, is plotting to incriminate our hero in the
crime of assassination. He is also financing a far-reaching network of spies…
Lock’s involvement with rich
nurse Amy is thrust against the rocks, it seems, despite their earlier throes
of passion. Lock is supported by his faithful comrade Siddhartha Singh (‘Sid’).
Lock and his men are sent on a Commando mission to spike the enemy mines on the
Tigris.
Throughout, the period
details and the terrain come across as genuine. The map is useful and an
improvement on the map in the first book. We continue to empathise with Lock
and Sid.
Certainly, some of the
storyline seems contrived, notably where coincidences are concerned, but it’s
still good Boys’ Own adventure stuff.
Annoyingly, other characters
are not developed much; for instance Sergeant Major Underhill and Petty Officer
Betty Boxer, both of whom are interesting.
In conclusion, I suspect the
book was probably rushed. The final confrontation is confusing, inadequately
described. And many threads are left dangling, possibly intentionally with an
eye on another follow-up.
Entertaining, but could have
benefited from tighter editing.
Editorial comment
These comments may prove useful to writers…
As before, the name Lock is
used too often when ‘he’ would suffice.
When only two characters are
in a scene, it is not necessary for them to constantly refer to each other by
name/rank, and the worst offenders are Lock and Sid conversing. Too many
instances to itemise, but, for example: ‘Don’t be daft, Sid… I’m fine, Sid… Nothing,
Sid…True, Sid… Yes, Sid…’ (all on p278)
It’s grating to repeatedly
encounter ‘was sat’ instead of the perfectly correct and simpler ‘sat’ in the
narrative. Again, too many instances to itemise, here’s one, for example: ‘He
was sat shoulder to shoulder…’ (p211)
‘Though still a sergeant
major, Lock had gained a rare mumble of gratitude from Underhill when he presented
him with his promotion to RSM...’ (p179) Of course this is wrong, implying Lock
is the sergeant major! The editor should have deleted ‘Though still a sergeant
major’.
Both Indian’s were shirtless…
(p191) There shouldn’t be an apostrophe!
Over-use of the word ‘up’,
often when it is not necessary. An example: ‘… peering hard up at the sky.’ (p280) We know the sky
is up… A single page has too many ups and downs, for example. (p377)
Similar, here: ‘… the pinking
sky above them…’ (p284)
And: ‘… shadow cast from the
moonlight up above,’ (p314)
At least three instances of the
misuse of the word ‘populous’ when it should have been ‘populace’ (I noted two:
pp331, 348)
‘a sound lost in the
aeroplane’s noisy engine’ (p376) This should be ‘a sound drowned by the
aeroplane’s noisy engine’, perhaps.
‘Without his shako on, Lock
could see that the generaloberst had
a head of thick snow-white hair’ (p397) Of course, the shako belongs to the
white-haired chap, not Lock!
This next instance is a
common conundrum for writers. If you’re riding a horse, you are not galloping
but the horse is, yet we tend to say ‘He galloped…’ So it is here: ‘Lock
puttered along trying to estimate how far he needed to travel before he should
go ashore.’ (p407) It’s the motor launch that putters, not Lock. We know Lock
is in the launch, so why not attribute the puttering to the boat? ‘The motor
launch puttered along while he tried to estimate…’
