Writing tips - Changing POV

I’ve just read a book, no title, no author, no pack-drill, where the character point of view switches more than once within the same scene. And it isn’t a book written from the omniscient POV. Established authors can get away with it (Why? Don't their editors care?), but this still grates; and, furthermore, if you're not established, potential editors or agents might notice and award a demerit or two, especially if it persists.

Switching POV pulls the reader out of the story, loses the intimacy of a character, and at its worst can confuse the reader.

[I'm being uncharitable towards many editors, I know. When the editor points out this kind of thing, it's up to the author to correct it; the editor can't impose his or her will, he can suggest. If the author won't budge, then... the POV issue hangs there.]

Here are some thoughts on changing POV.

If you change a character POV in a scene, then create a scene break. I won’t labour the point, but an example can be found on p79 of The $300 Man.

http://goo.gl/E7iG29

 

Corbin too wondered what business Tillman had with Mr Walker.

* * *

Sitting in an upholstered chair opposite Mr Walker who was at his desk, Tillman rested his elbows on the arms and nursed a tumbler of bourbon and branch water. ‘I am perplexed, Mr Walker.’

Thanks to the break, the reader then knows whose head he or she is in – Corbin’s then Tillman’s.

Action

Action scenes can be difficult where there’s a temptation to show how each fighter feels as the blows are exchanged. Resist this. In fact, for each scene, decide whose POV is going to be revealed.

When the scene is first written, I’m not always sure whose POV I’m going to write from, as I’m just writing the interplay, the dialogue and the action. But when I have to layer in the emotion – and possibly thoughts and feelings, such as pain – then I have to decide. Who is most affected in the scene? Then that’s probably whose POV you should use – so go back through that scene and personalize it from that character’s perspective.

Bert laughed and tugged off the woman’s wedding band. She whimpered but said nothing.

         Elijah chuckled. ‘Get another husband, widow. He’ll buy a new ring for you!’

         These distractions were enough. Half rising, Corbin swung his left arm up, the hook sinking into Elijah’s neck. Blood spurted, splashing Corbin’s dark blue flannel shirt and buckskin jacket. Damn, must have hit an artery. Jerking his bloody hook out of the wound, he used it to snag the shotgun out of Elijah’s hands.

         Bert swerved round, levelling his six-gun, his face draining white at sight of his sibling crumpling to the carriage floor.

         Corbin’s right hand grabbed the shotgun. Resting the barrel on the back of the seat, he blasted Bert full in the chest before the bandit could fire off a single bullet.

         The widow shrieked in alarm as Bert fell back onto the floor, ineffectually gripping his revolver. Others cheered. (The $300 Man, pp7/8)

In the above example, there are four characters – Bert and Elijah, the bad guys, the widow and Corbin. It would be easy to get into any or all of their heads – but this must be resisted. This has to be from Corbin Molina’s POV throughout. ‘These distractions were enough’ is Corbin’s thought. I don’t convey it as ‘he thought’ when it’s obvious by the next three words that it’s Corbin’s POV. Then Corbin’s thought – Damn… It’s visual and fast, and we don’t get confused about who’s doing what.

Mixed up action

Action scenes can easily become confusing, especially where the writer is employing ‘he’ but it isn’t always obvious who ‘he’ is. There’s a tendency to jump from one character POV to another. Pay close attention to your action scenes, and make sure you’ve pinned down whose POV you’re writing.
 
Strive to simplify and visualise every time.

- extract from Write a western in 30 Days (pp 64/65)

Amazon.co.uk

http://goo.gl/RxRUHF

Amazon.com

http://goo.gl/XQC6cx

Beating the snow and ice, my gratis 3 copies of the Linford Large Print book The $300 Man arrived today. I like the cover - it features a train, which is significant since the book begins with a train robbery. And the standing gunman could conceivably have a hook on his left hand, since it's hidden!



Interesting to see how Linford have managed to shorten the blurb; a good abridgement. The book, of course, is complete and unabridged.









The hardcover blurb:
What’s a life worth? $300, maybe. Half-Mexican Corbin Molina lost a hand during the Civil War but he has adapted. Now he’s on a mission to Walkerville. On the way, he prevents a train robbery and finds an old friend. Corbin always carries $300, which is significant, since that’s what he was a paid as substitute soldier for the Union.

When Corbin starts asking questions about Walkerville’s law and administration, he discovers that the Walker family, who seem to have bought and paid for loyalty and position, dominates the townspeople. Inevitably, Corbin’s questions attract plenty of trouble. And his past emerges to confront him during a tense showdown that threatens not only him but also his newfound love.

The Linford blurb:
What’s a life worth? $300, maybe. Corbin Molina lost a hand during the Civil War and always carries $300 – his pay as substitute Union soldier. He’s on a mission to Walkerville. When he arrives Corbin investigates their law and administration and finds that the Walker family dominates the townspeople and his questions bring trouble. His past emerges to confront him during a tense showdown that threatens not only him but also his newfound love.

Pleased to see that The $300 Man is 4th in the book depository Black Horse Western bestseller table, for December:
http://tainted-archive.blogspot.com/2010/12/western-bestsellers-at-book-depository.html