Editing tips - Just the facts, Ma'am

Just the Facts, Ma’am

It’s so easy to become wrapped up in the interesting facts in your research for your novel or short story. Yes, often I need to do research for a short story, too. The danger is not only spending time on the research rather than writing, but also in extracting too much information. Yes, it’s fascinating, but is it all pertinent to the story and the characters? Does it help move the story forward? Probably not.

Of course, this doesn’t stop some authors who commit that annoying sin of lumbering their readers with the dreaded ‘infodump’ – literally, paragraph upon paragraph of fact, information gleaned during research that the author considers so interesting that you’re bound to want to know all about it too.

Sure, some bestsellers do it – but you aren’t a bestseller, so be kind to your reader and avoid falling into the infodump trap. Really, infodumping is lazy writing. Be circumspect with the research details you use.

       
Naturally, you want to divulge the pertinent facts in some manner. Not as cold author intrusive text. Preferably via character exposition, and not directly in the narrative. Even here, you have to tread carefully. Some authors think if they disguise their infodump text in dialogue, it will be all right. Not so. It still seems stilted, unreal and declares that the author was too indolent to weave the research material into the fabric of the story.

- Extract from Write a Western in 30 Days (p22)

'Morton has a brilliant way of condensing a great deal of information into manageable junks without sacrificing clarity or content. The resulting book works both as master class and as a refresher course.' - Amazon.com review, September 2013.

'This has to be the best book about writing I've read for ages, even if the title is a misnomer. It should be 'Write a Novel in 30 Days', as it covers all the key aspects beginner writers need to know about the skill of writing any novel, not just Westerns. I have recently completed my first book and wish I'd had this to hand when I started! Excellent; full of easily digestible tips.' - Amazon.co.uk review, July 2013.

Editing tips - LET’S TALK

‘Speech helps to define your story’s characters… The fact is that dialogue reveals character; it moves the story forward much faster than narrative, and can impart information more economically than several paragraphs of exposition. Direct speech dramatizes events, while indirect speech merely reports them. The spoken word engages the reader.’*

A great deal is made of the use of ‘he said’/’she said’ and the many alternatives. Truth is, there are times when none of them are necessary. Authors love their characters’ names and tend to over-use them at the drop of a speech. But that can become tedious for the reader.

When there are only two characters in the scene, rein in character names; and judge whether ‘he said’/’she said’ is required at all. The tone, context and choice of words should indicate who is speaking, particularly if there's verbal fencing going on.

Here’s an example from an early chapter in Blood of the Dragon Trees – and ‘said’ is only used once.

 

Story so far: Laura finds a broken ivory figurine on the floor and knows there’s an intruder. It's her POV; she guesses who it is, too.

Perhaps she should have felt threatened as Andrew Kirby stepped out from the bathroom. He was, after all, a virtual stranger. But she was remarkably calm.         

He was dressed in a pale green shirt and chinos. Laura pointed to his desert boots. ‘A few grains of soil gave you away, Mr Kirby.’

He shrugged. ‘Ironic, really. I’m into earth preservation and here it goes, giving me away!’

‘It’s no joking matter, you know.’ She was serious, despite his smile. ‘Breaking and entering – it’s a serious offence in Spain, too.’

          
He nodded sombrely. ‘Indeed it is. If the culprit is handed over to the authorities, of course.’
         
‘Have you any explanation for being here?’
     
‘Selling encyclopaedias, but couldn’t find the door?’
          
Laura shook her head.
        
‘Chasing my pet cat–’
         
‘No.’ She wondered if that stray was his, then shook her head.
          
‘Hopelessly in love with you?’
           
She felt the colour rise in her cheeks. ‘No, I don’t think so.’ She leaned back against the desk, fingering a broken fragment of ivory. ‘This piece would have been valuable to sell, I’m sure – if you hadn’t dropped it.’
           
His mouth gaped open. ‘A thief? You think I’m a common thief!’
           
‘Are there any other kind of thieves? Is a common thief somehow worse than a gentleman thief?’ She shook her head. ‘I would never have believed I’d be discussing semantics with a burglar!’
           
‘Now I’m a burglar!’
           
‘If the cap fits–’
           
He walked towards her.
           
She edged away.
           
He lifted his arms wide, palms open. ‘My intentions are honourable, Miss Reid.’
           
‘What? Towards me or–’ she said, holding out the ivory piece, ‘– towards poor Felipe’s broken fisherman?’
           
There was a strange intensity in his eyes, something she had not noticed before. For a moment she feared his presence, his musky nearness. But only for a moment.
           
He reached out to the ivory in her hand and she anticipated his touch.

- Blood of the Dragon Trees (p43)

 

* – Write a western in 30 days.